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The body of a 26-year-old

Mother to young daughter in toilet cubicle: “Make sure you go to the loo before we get into the pool darling”
Daughter to mother: “Okay, but Daddy sometimes lets me go to the toilet in the swimming pool”
I heard this delightful conversation at my gym. Yes, that’s right, I have a gym. I have somehow managed to resist the urge to give an organisation a huge amount of money so that I can exercise in their indoor space but the weather here in England has given me reason to believe that it is a worthwhile investment.
Keen to start getting my money’s worth from my membership, I have spent the past two weeks immersing myself in this strange sub-culture – wondering whether I’ll ever be ballsy enough to bend over with my vadge out like all the other women in the locker-room. I’ve never seen so many vadges in my life. Women standing around, talking in front of each other’s vadges. Ladies leaning over to pick up their backpack from the floor with no attempt to protect the person standing behind the…

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